Topic #1 - Babies
This past weekend has been tough for me. We were invited to a friend's son's first birthday party. I love children but being around that many of them in one place, pulls at my heart strings. I know that Doodle does not understand how my whole being aches for a child. While we were at the party, I mentioned to Doodle that it would be fun to plan and have a first birthday for a baby. All Doodle said as "Oh, GB".
I know, I agreed to a marriage with no children, but, when you make a life changing decision early in your life, sometimes you do not realize it is a mistake until you get older. The older I get, the more I long for a child. Doodle just does not understand the sadness I carry with me, seeing parents with babies and toddlers. Watching them take that the first step, say their first word, it is something that I will never experience. I will never have someone call me "mom", never get a hand-made card, never teach them to drive and hold my breath while they experience all the world has to offer.
Most of the time, I can pretend that it does not bother me that I will never be a mom, but weekends like this past one, serve as a harsh reminder that my life will never be complete.
Topic #2 - Ice Cream
If anyone read the earlier post about making ice cream, you know that our first attempt at homemade ice cream did not go as planned. Second time = success!!!! The key, having the cylinder thingy completely frozen. We made basic vanilla ice cream and I think it was the best vanilla I have ever eaten. So smooth and creamy and fresh tasting!